As job seekers, we all want to make a great first impression. And often, that starts with the pivotal question: “Could you walk me through your resume?” This question is a potential goldmine. But what if, for some strange reason, you wanted to screw this up? Now, that’s an intriguing notion. Let’s explore this alternate universe where your primary goal is to effectively bomb your interview.
Step 1: Be Completely Unprepared
Preparation is the key to success. So, if you’re looking to screw up, make sure you’re caught completely off guard. Have no understanding of what’s on your resume and look confused when asked about it. Don’t remember those key achievements or work experiences you’ve listed. After all, who needs a well-rehearsed and concise summary of their professional history when they can wing it and look baffled instead?
Step 2: Give Irrelevant Information
If the interviewer wants you to walk them through your resume, they’re clearly interested in your relevant skills and experiences. But if your objective is to mess this up, make sure to provide them with totally irrelevant information. Did you win a hot-dog eating contest in high school? Perfect. How about that summer you spent learning to juggle? Yes, they need to know about that too. Remember, you’re aiming for them to question what any of this has to do with the job you’ve applied for.
Step 3: Long-winded Monologues are the Way
Conciseness is overrated. Why succinctly highlight your achievements when you can ramble on about every minor detail? Talk endlessly about that two-week internship you did seven years ago. Spend 10 minutes explaining the intricacies of your university thesis. Go off on tangents. If you’ve not been speaking for at least 20 minutes non-stop, you’re not doing it right.
Step 4: Overlook the ‘STAR’ Method
The ‘Situation, Task, Action, Result’ (STAR) method is a fantastic strategy for succinctly outlining your experiences and achievements. It’s used to provide a clear narrative that outlines your specific role and impact in your previous jobs. But since you’re looking to fumble, avoid this method at all costs. Don’t articulate the situation you were in, the task at hand, the action you took, or the results you achieved. It’s much better to leave the interviewer guessing.
Step 5: Be Unenthusiastic and Disengaged
Remember, enthusiasm can often be infectious. So, if you really want to screw this up, make sure your delivery is as monotonous as possible. Mumble, avoid eye contact, and refrain from using any positive adjectives when talking about your experiences. Also, remember to show no excitement about the job you’re interviewing for.
In conclusion, while this is meant to be humorously illustrative, it also serves as a list of ‘not-to-do’s when you’re asked to walk through your resume in an interview. When it comes to the actual event, you’d want to do the exact opposite of these tips: be prepared, be relevant, be concise, use the STAR method, and show enthusiasm.
